| Albert Peterson | Steen Vaca Diez |
| Rosie Alvarez | Lily Baker |
| Helen | Jessi Riley |
| Ursula Merkle | Jenna Clark |
| Kim MacAfee | Julia Hall |
| Mrs.Doris MacAfee | Molly Adams |
| Mr. Harry MacAfee | Reece Barrow |
| Randolph MacAfee | Daniel Dover |
| Mrs. Mae Peterson | Jenna Watkins |
| Conrad Birdie | Beto Vaca Diez |
| Hugo Peabody | Drake Roach |
| One Girl | Olivia Capel |
| Policeman | Matteo Vaca Diez |
| Reporters | Alleigh Curtis, Noah McFarland, Matteo Vaca Diez |
| Mayor | Ian Crunk |
| Edna (Mayor’s Wife) | Maelee Dover |
| Nancy | Peyton Seip |
| Gloria Rasputin | Alleigh Curtis |
| Ed Sullivan’s Voice | TBA |
| Traveler (Healthy Normal American) | Elijah Ellis |
| Mr. Johnson | Noah McFarland |
| Charles F. Maude | |
| Maude’s Dishwasher | Jaley Watkins |
| Maude’s First Customer | Noah McFarland |
| Maude’s Second Customer | Matteo Vaca Diez |
| Alice | Lily Yana |
| Margie | Sophia Dudley |
| Harvey Johnson | Nick Bussey |
| Deborah Sue Merkle | Kiersten Wright |
| Penelope Ann | Julia Williams |
| Suzy | Karina Griffin |
| Freddie | Elijah Ellis |
| Karl | Matteo Vaca Diez |
| Policeman | Elijah Ellis |
| Train Station Personnel | Fleming Dover |
| Conrad’s Guitar Man | Matteo Vaca Diez |
| Sad Girl 1 | Alyssa Earnhart |
| Sad Girl 2 | Serena Hasty |
| Stage Manager | Alyssa Earnhart |
| Lee/First Reporter | Olivia Capel |
| Camera Man/Second Reporter | Olivia McHughs |
| Phyllis/Third Reporter | Alleigh Curtis |
